Not Worthy?
by fififolle
Summary: Chuck calls Zelenka on his opinion of him, as the three Hive ships approach. The Brotherhood missing scene.


**Disclaimers**: I do not own these characters; this is written for fun, I make no money etc.

**Spoilers: The Brotherhood**

**A/N: **Chuck Campbell Appreciation Thread on GateWorld gives you bunnies. Written on the train on the way to Pegasus 2 :D Thanks to Purpleyin for the beta :D

**Summary:** Chuck calls Zelenka on his opinion of him, as the three Hive ships approach. The Brotherhood - missing scene.

* * *

He put his head in his hands. Sitting on the stairs, elbows on knees, Chuck had never felt such helplessness. Taking a deep ragged breath, he ran his long fingers through his short, thick hair.

More Hive ships than he could have imagined existed, and three of them on their way to Atlantis. More Wraith than he had never wanted the pleasure of meeting, rushing through space in this direction. As soon as they had discovered the deep space sensors, Chuck had called Peter. Waking his boss from sleep was never this particular Canadian's favourite pastime, but it had been his only course of action -Grodin needed to know.

The Brit had chastised him groggily at first, but as soon as he caught the anxiety in Chuck's voice, he had told him he'd be there as soon as he could find a clean shirt, if not sooner. Peter Grodin was the best engineer Chuck had ever worked with, and it had been a huge relief when he showed up a few minutes later - it had seemed like an eternity.

Peter had been pleased with how much Chuck had managed to clean up the signal. They now had an even clearer vision of the approaching doom, and there really had been very little for them to do after that. Dr Weir had called her senior staff to discuss options, and Peter had told Chuck to get some food and rest. They both knew it might be a while before he got another chance to refuel.

Chuck had almost made it to the mess hall when his legs gave out on the stairs. He wasn't tired exactly - he hadn't even completed a single shift, and he'd faced life and death before, so he doubted adrenaline was part of it. Besides, the Wraith weren't even here yet. But there was something that had made him a breather before he faced the crowds in the mess hall. He needed a minute. Alone. So there he sat, getting his head straight.

He hadn't realised how long he'd been there, until he discovered that the senior staff briefing was over. It must have been, because it was Dr Radek Zelenka who sat down beside him on the deserted stairwell. He didn't look at the man, he just knew it was him. Radek didn't say anything. They just sat side by side.

Radek finally cleared his throat. "Are you all right?"

Chuck gave a sigh and lifted his head to see Radek's bespectacled, concerned face. Instead of answering him, he asked, "What did Dr Weir say?"

Radek shrugged, and talked quietly. "We have two weeks. We have a plan to gather intelligence on the Hive ships. Also maybe send a message to Earth. Our last legacy perhaps. That is all. It is possible we could all soon be dead." Radek gave Chuck a strange brief grin, before folding his hands together and looking away.

"Right," Chuck said wryly, "I feel so much better now."

They returned to sitting in silence, neither man making any move to speak, or to rise.

After a few moments, Radek cleared his throat again, "I'm sorry. About earlier. My accusation about the coffee. The malfunction was not your fault, clearly we know that now."

Chuck felt anger rise in him. A myriad of emotions was released in him that he had been suppressing in recent weeks, and perhaps he hadn't really known they were there - it had just been an automatic response to bottle them up. He felt the snap in his gut, and lifted his head, turning it sharply to scowl at Radek.

"You think I don't take my job seriously? You think I don't deserve the position as Peter's deputy? Just say it, and get it over with!" he spat, and glared at the man beside him.

Shocked, Radek stared, open-mouthed. There was some delay before he could form the words. "Chuck, this is no time to…"

Chuck leaned close, lowering his voice to avoid attracting any attention from passers-by. "This is exactly the time," he said angrily, "If we have two weeks before three Hive ships arrive, I need to know where I stand. Just say it!" His eyes flicked from side to side, waiting for a response.

"OK," Radek conceded quietly, and paused with incredulity as he saw Chuck relax a little, "It is like this, Sergeant. You are a good engineer. I can see that. Peter can see that. And he has the right to choose whom he wishes as his deputy. But I admit, I don't think you have quite grasped the seriousness of our task here. From the moment we arrived in this city, I have been undertaking tasks that have saved lives. And all you do… is…" as Radek gestured in frustration, his mouth took on a sneer of disgust and his accent thickened, "is…drink coffee, and… and eat doughnuts, and talk about sailing and hockey!" Radek threw up his hands in defeat. "We have been here almost a year. _Aren't you afraid yet?_"

Chuck took a deep breath, and responded with a whisper. "Yes, sure I'm afraid. I'm scared now."

Radek's shoulders sagged slightly as he saw the clear and present fear in Chuck's eyes, reflecting his own feelings. He just nodded, and pushed his glasses up his nose.

Keeping his eyes to the step below, Chuck wrung his hands. "Look, you're right, Sir. Maybe I wasn't really treating my job with the respect it deserves. It's not that I couldn't see the danger all around. I mean, I'm no stranger to death and destruction. But I love Atlantis. What I do here more than makes up for the danger. I just don't let it affect me - maybe I'm kinda enjoying myself too much." He gave a hollow laugh. "Maybe things will be different from now on."

Radek shook his head, but Chuck held out a hand and continued, "No. Let me finish. What happened today. It's a wake up call. We could all be dead in two weeks, and I need to start pulling my weight. I promise, you won't find me slacking at my post again. Not when I should be watching out for the safety of the whole city. I'm sorry." Chuck's voice cracked a little as he apologised.

Radek sighed deeply. "I am not military. I have been scared witless since I stepped through the Gate. Perhaps I do not understand these things. But today, yes, today we have found a focus. And Peter needs you." The Czech locked eyes with the Canadian. "Peter needs to know he can rely on you when he is not there. And so do I. He thinks you can do it," he sighed again, and nodded slowly, "Perhaps I do too." He reached out a hand and clapped it on Chuck's shoulder. "Do not let him down."

Radek stood up stiffly, tired by the trauma of the afternoon.

Chuck followed suit, nodding his head, "I know you are afraid, too. Believe me, you learn how to cope when you have to deal with it day in day out for weeks at a time. So I accept your apology, Dr Zelenka. And I won't let you down, Sir. I won't let Peter down. I assure you, coffee or no coffee, I can do this job."

Radek pursed his lips, smiled, and held out his hand. "Yes. Yes, you can. Thank you."

Chuck shook his hand, and watched Radek make his way down the stairs and disappear along a corridor. Blinking hard to release the tension around his eyes, Chuck headed for the mess hall, muttering to himself.

"I sure hope I can."

_**FIN**_


End file.
